wet

A dark rainy day.  The ground is saturated.  I feel soaked, inside and out.

I broke off a friendship today.  I was trying to take the quiet way out but she emailed and asked me point blank, so I replied.

I offered to meet and talk in person.  She wanted it now.  I told the truth knowing it would not be appreciated.  It wasn't.

Her reply was defensive and crude.  I accept it.

Another loss, another walking away.   Why?

We were friends a few years ago and I ended it because although we shared a lot in common she was mean-spirited to her kids, yelling at them.  I didn't want to be part of it.  I tried to offer help with parenting, the gods know I have been at my wits end many times.  I couldn't help so I left, without saying why, just falling-on-my-sword kind of thing.

Now that I think of it, the way she treated her kids was very similar to how my father talked to us.  Hmm...

Anyway, she got back in touch with me earlier this year and she seemed changed, more mellow.  I took the friendship slow.  We do have a wonderful 'click' with humor and dancing.  It is a rare thing indeed. I will miss the deep laughs, great conversations and a fabulous dancing partner.

Buggers!

With all that is happening with me, I knew this is what I needed to do.   I dreaded doing it.  It's done.

I don't want to be in a relationship where I had to hide or lie about myself.  Letting go, again!

Like the weather,  I lack sunshine and warmth today.  I am cold.