Saturday pumpkin

I had a craving for pumpkin so off I went to the store to buy organic pumpkin in a can.  I stirred in ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, eggs, organic cream and maple syrup.  I cooked it on the stove.

YUM.

On my second bowl, I realized I was feeding myself babyhood.  ha!  I needed it.

Yesterday was my first day feeling like ME again.  I am still shocked at how hard my ass was kicked from the surgery.  I did not see that coming.  I was THAT tired.  My body was THAT tired.

Today the bandages came off and it was not as bad as I had feared.  It's about an inch and a half long and still has healing to do.  I still get zingers of pain here and there but it is getting better.

I woke up last Monday morning and cried most of the morning.  I don't know why.  It was too big to put into words so all I could do was cry.  I cried walking into the bathroom, brushng my teeth, making my bed, getting dressed.  I was upset, sad, and depleted of energy.

I walked outside and went right up to my former husband and said, "I can't live like this anymore,"  and then I said some other things-while crying-that I can't remember.  There was something about asking him why he is so mad all the time and another thing about the boys being upset.

The end result was that he agreed to move back into the addition so I can move back into the main house,   EUREKA!

How that happened, I do not know.  It was not my intention.  I just couldn't stand the tension in the house anymore.  It was filled with silent angst.  The family was fragmented.

I was so grateful that I hugged him and thanked him several times.  He seemed shocked.

Since Monday, I have been content.  It took me 5 days to put all my stuff away and fix up the kitchen, living room, sunroom and bathroom but I did it.

I am happy to cook in my kitchen.  I am happy to be home.  I know this is not forever but for now it is bliss, plain and simple.

He is not paying for me at all and I have money for another 2 weeks but somehow, someway, this will work out.  I have faith.  Faith in life.  Faith in people.  Faith in myself.

Life is good.   May it also be with everyone else too.