food is food...aha!

I wrote this this morning. I reread it tonight and thought "Wow, did I write that?"  Here it is: (lots going on with me today)

I ran this morning!!!!!!!  I took it slow.  I woke up to 2 inches on snow here at 7am and my body/soul were itching to go run through it.  Ah nature, how serene and beautiful.

I had one of thos 'aha' moments this morning while enjoying tea by the woodstove.  The rest of the house was sleeping still.  It was this...

Food is not my mother  (love)
not my lover (comfort, fullness)
not my father  (stern, judgmental, punishing)
not my friend (connection)

It is food.  It is neutral.  What I bring to it, I make it.  When I hate myself it is a weapon to beat myself with.  When I am bored, it it a playmate.  When I feel empty, it fills me up so full I can't feel anymore.  When I am happy, I gift myself with it.

Yet...it is just food.  It goes in my mouth, gets digested (or not) and I poop and pee it out.  Those are the facts mam.

Funny eh, what I have projected on food?  What I have done to a neutral substance?

I have been fully enjoying my food, as per suggested in 'Yoga of Eating' book.  What a difference to be aware and awake while eating.  It is so simple.  Where have I been all these years?

I am coming home to myself.  I don't care to beat myself.  I don't care to judge myself.  I don't need constant watching.  I am not in prison.

I am me.  Just me.   A wave on the ocean on life.  In a form so I can reach and connect to others.  This wave is here for a limited time.  I see other waves, yet we are all ocean.   Rest in the womb of ocean/mother.   We are not just a wave...we are the ocean too.

May peace be upon you.