writing

I emailed this to a friend a week or so ago:

"I find a lot of people have long ago buried their passion, their bliss, their truth.  Now is the time to take it up again and have it be enough.

I, for one, am tired of waiting for permission.  I am misaligned because I don't remember who I am or what my bliss is.  It is my responsibility, to myself, to the universe really, to claim myself and run with it."

I seem to pouring out with words online of late.  I don't know what is going on but I am going with the flow.

It was really cold, bitter cold in these parts last night.  Oh, I remember cold now.  I woke up at 5am, put wood in the stove and made a cup of tea.   I sat in the darkened room with only a short string of white lights for illumination.  The sky slowing showing herself in contrast to the trees.  I stretched out on the couch, warm, dreamy and content.  I feel asleep.

When I woke up, I knew it was a running day.  I was up and dressed and out the door by 8:30.  It was a happy run.  I didn't have a lot of energy (even though I ate 1/3 of a banana) but I was joyful.  I must of broken out in a smile, grin or giggle a dozen or so times.

My favorite part of my run is the last 1/4 miles.  I am on a side street with trees and I think there is a slight decline in the road.  As I was running (gingerly still, the knee is far from 100%) I thought. "I am not running through space, reality and time, I am moving with everything.  The ocean swells, we do not say the swell is moving or cutting through the ocean"

Yes, these are the type of thoughts I have throughout the day, whether running or driving or washing dishes.  I am a thinker, dreamer, seeker...I am always wondering about deep things.  I am becoming less and less ashamed of this nature of mine.  I don't know a lot of people similar to me.  Perhaps that is why I never embraced it.  I wanted to fit in.

I am learning to fit in with nature, my nature, reality's nature, nature's nature.  I find I am more able to accept other people's nature too.

I have no one to fight or push.  There is nothing standing in the way of acceptance and fully embracing what is.   I am less moved by the rush of life. I am turning in, tuning in, to what feels natural for me at that moment.

I don't have to run, hide, or bargain.   Breathing, all is well.

On my run today I felt free and yet there was no me, just the running, the joy, and the peace in knowing it's other than we think.  Heaven is indeed spread upon the earth.  We are part of earth and she is us. Nowhere to go, no one to be, nothing to say.  Listen.  Ah, the beauty of home, everywhere.